536: Rock Bottom
rock bottom
be strong
Traffic crawls, cell phone calls
Talk radio screams at me
Through my tinted window I see
A little girl, rust red minivan
She’s got chocolate on her face
Got little hands, and she waves at me
Yeah, she smiles at me
Hello world
How’ve you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel cold as steel
Broken like I’m never gonna heal
I see a light, a little hope
In a little girl
Hello world
Every day I drive by
A little white church
It’s got these little white crosses
Like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in
Say a prayer
Maybe talk to God
Like he is there
Oh I know he is there
Yeah, I know he’s there
Hello world
How’ve you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I’m never going to heal
I see a light
A little grace, a little faith unfurled
Hello world
Sometimes I forget what living’s for
And I hear my life through my front door
And I’ll be there
Oh I’m home again
I see my wife, my little boy, little girl
Hello world
Hello world
All the empty disappears
I remember why I’m here
Just surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh hello world
Hello world
Hello world
534: A Game of Shadows
The long awaited sequel to Sherlock Holmes is FINALLY here! I SO WANT TO WATCH IT but I need to find time. Love the charismatic Robert Downey Jnr and Jude Law! And I love the soundtrack from the previous film, it’s by one of my favourite composers Hans Zimmer (also Inception). Have been listening to some of the tracks from the new film, the same theme resonates. Love it. (: I should catch the film soon.
I’m feeling really down emo and depressed today. Nothing I do seems to be working. It doesn’t help that I’m not getting any better. My throat is still terribly painful even after 5 days. And the Augmentin I’m taking is doing my tummy problems. I admit I haven’t been a good patient either. Listening and blasting emo songs doesn’t help. Watching a little TV (the recorded version of Michael Buble’s Christmas special) doesn’t help. It kept me a little happier for that hour or so but after that, I’m back to my emo mode. Baking wouldn’t help cause’ I’m feeling so lazy to do any baking now at all. I’m just not in the mood for sweet stuff at all. Did a little emo doodling too and it’s back to square one. How to cheer myself up when I doodled this? emo emo emo )”:
So random. But I want to go for a picnic at Botanic Gardens. I want to escape from the hustle and bustle of life and be in the embrace of nature. I just want to sit on a nice picnic mat, read a good book, feel the cool breeze in my hair, people watch, munch on nice homemade sandwiches or adorable lunch bento, eat some sweet seedless grapes on a vine and drink a nice cup of cold milk. So many things I want to do. Sherlock Holmes 2. Picnic.
Alrights, back to my depressed bluesy emo mode again. Let me be.
533: Lady Antebellum
In the mood for some Lady Antebellum tonight.
Love my portable speakers as I blast away the music in the cold bleak house.
533: Bleak
At this point in time, everything looks so bleak.
Nothing is going right.
I don’t want to think about it.
Thinking about it just gets me down, down, down.
It’s turning into something evil, even hate.
I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep
But I’m just feeling very depressed now.
Where are you, my magic strength?
532: Christmas Wishlist
All I want for Christmas this year is…
a little more courage
and
my magic strength
531: Hold On
It’s the eve of Christmas eve already. I’m still awake at 330am. I should sleep soon, haven’t been sleeping pretty well the past many days. And it’s a no wonder I’ve fallen sick. Wanted to see the staff clinic yesterday but I gave up and decided to just “self-medicate” with plenty of water and the many free-for-consumption Difflam lozenges available at work. Well, it doesn’t help that all the kids around me are either positive for RSV or some other bug. I need to get well soon before Christmas. (:
I find this ultra cute. The google bar is so Christmas-sy adorable!
Some Bublé magic before I sleep (only to wake up 2.5 hours later) (:
Didn’t they always say we were the lucky ones.
I guess that we were once, babe, we were once,
but luck will leave you cursed, it is a faithless friend,
and in the end, when life has got you down,
you’ve got someone here that you can wrap your arms around.
So hold on to me tight,
hold on to me tonight.
We are stronger here together,
than we could ever be alone.
So hold on to me,
don’t you ever let me go.
There’s a thousand ways for things to fall apart,
but it’s no ones fault, no it’s not my fault.
Maybe all the plans we made might not work out,
but I have no doubt, even though it’s hard to see.
I’ve got faith in us, and I believe in you and me.
So hold on to me tight.
Hold on, I promise it will be alright.
Cuz it’s you and me together,
and baby all we’ve got is time.
So hold on to me,
hold on to me tonight.
There’s so many dreams that we have given up.
Take a look at all we’ve got,
and with this kind of love,
and what we’ve got here is enough.
So hold on to me tight.
Hold on, I promise it will be alright.
Cuz we are stronger here together,
than we could ever be alone.
Just hold on to me,
don’t you ever let me go.
Hold on to me, it’s gonna be alright.
Hold on to me tonight.
They always say, we were the lucky ones.
530: There You’ll Be (Cont’d)
(:
‘Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always
529: There You’ll Be
Thoroughly thrilled and excited for the coming weekend. Nothing major scheduled this long weekend but still, there are many simple reasons to be joyful about. I’m going to be making shepherd’s pie for the potluck on Sunday evening and I’m excited. I’m ALWAYS the baker for potluck and it’s getting boring baking all the sweets every time. And since someone’s getting log cake for dessert, it’s my opportunity to cook something savoury (although essentially I’ll be baking the pie after cooking the fillings). I’m FINALLY making something savoury! I mean, I love to cook too, NOT JUST BAKE!
I’m done with my Christmas shopping for gifts. It’s a special year for me this year. Yes, I really SPENT this year cause’ it’s the first year that I’m finally earning some money (yays with the year end bonus as well). Hope my loved ones will like them! I love Christmas this year. There are people singing Christmas carols in the wards every day and the wards are so well decorated with Christmas decorations. Plus, everyone’s gifting chocolates and lovely goodies to the different sections. Feeling the happy joyful christmas-sy mood!
The year’s coming to an end. It’s kind of scarily fast. A downer will be that I’m scheduled to work on the first day of the year but well, be glad that it’s just half a day and there is a holiday in lieu the next day (2nd January is a holiday) (:
I’m a brave girl. I’m almost done with this week now, with just a few days more to go. Took everything in my stride, thanks to a magic strength. Simple thoughts and simple melodies (on repeat), giving me strength to carry on and get through the week. (:
Awesome (:
When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I’ll be glad ’cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I’ll look and see your face
You were right there for me
[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I’ll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I’ll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you’ll be
And everywhere I am
There you’ll be
Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me
[Repeat chorus]
‘Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always
[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I’ll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I’ll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you’ll be
And everywhere I am
There you’ll be
There you’ll be
528: Give Thanks (:
Thank you (:
With so much on hand to complete but my spirits are high.
I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Holding on real tight
Have faith (:
Nice warm dark chocolate peppermint latte on a cold wet rainy Sunday evening makes me all warm and fuzzy!
But one-hour post dose, I’m all tachycardic and jittery and high! Omg I need propanolol (:
527: Holding On
I listen, I understand.
They move me.
I smile, I leap.
Moved, indefinitely.
I’m holding on, for sure.
(:
526: Weird?
happy and sad
i’m weird
525: Emo
It’s nearing the end of the year
Christmas is almost here
Feeling the festive mood all around me
But feeling so emo at the same time
Why oh why
I see the pouring rain
Through the glass windows of the bus
The rainy weather just gets me down.
I think I need to bake this weekend to make myself happy.
But I’ve got so many things up this weekend!
Deadlines and more deadlines to meet!
Oh well I just cannot wait for the Christmas holidays!
The season of giving!
I love shopping for gifts but I haven’t done any proper one yet!
Yay presents! (:
Hahaha back from my manic state down to my depressive state.
Emo emo emo.
Rain rain go away.
523: Fatigue
I feel so tired after work every day.
I find myself quite deeply asleep once I rest my eyes on the bus, only to wake up just in time to alight from the bus (fortunately).
I feel so tired that I can’t be bothered about what image I have to uphold on the bus, while sleeping. That’s funny. Who cares?
Once I’m home and all freshened up from a nice warm bath, I just want to jump onto the comfy sheets of my bed to sleep and never wake up. Ever.
If only I could. ):
522: Wicked!
The day we’ve been waiting for was here! I was jittery and madly delirious all yesterday. The moment I stepped foot into the theatre at MBS, I was freaking out because the set was omg so freaking gorgeous! Couldn’t believe that the magic of Wicked was going to unveil right in front of my eyes!
I was practically hyperventilating and my heart was racing! The musical was just so freaking amazing! Pardon me for the lack of descriptive vocabulary because it’s just WICKED! Omg! (:
The cast was awesome awesome! It’s the Aussie cast! Last night was Suzie Mather’s opening night in Singapore because she was ill during the previews and Friday’s gala night! Lucy Durack (the original Aussie Glinda) was flown in then. So it was freaking awesome we got to see Suzie Mathers in action last night! She was so adorably cute and delivered all her punchlines with great poignancy! I really like her. Now I cannot imagine any other actress as Glinda! Jemma Rix as Elphaba is so perfect as well! Ahhhhh so in love!
The set was freaking gorgeous! The set changes were seamless! The rest of the cast was equally awesome! It wa just a wicked wicked night! Sooooo goood I want to watch again next year! And also, fly to Broadway or West End and watch! (:
They were soooooooooooo good! At curtain call, I knew I had to stand up to give them a standing ovation! We were clapping so vigorously, our palms were red with excitement! The audience last night was awesome too! Hahaha the cast was so cute too! As it was Suzie’s opening night, she was presented with a flower bouquet! I heard she hasn’t fully recovered yet but she was amazing! Haha they were so cute because we could hear them cheering behind the curtains at the end of the performance! kyaaaa sooo cute! (:
Having HUGE HUGE Wicked withdrawal symptoms now! Although terribly lack of sleep the past week, but the excitement is sustaining me! Slept at 3am last night, hyperventilating and still seizing with excitement! And woke up at 7am today, still very high and excited. Went for a run this morning with Wicked at (maximum tolerable) volume was just “shiok”! (:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh I’m still freaking out with excitement! Sharing some of the photos of the evening! (:
DEFY GRAVITY guys! (:
521: Strength to carry on
Gloomy gloomy
Was a major screw up
These are times when I just want to break down and cry in a little corner
To get everything stuffed up inside me out
But I won’t be put down so easily
I am a strong girl
One matter is not going to keep me away from my dreams
It’s not going to stop me
I got to believe that things will be better
It will be.
Life goes on.
Nothing’s stopping me
520: Things That Made My Monday Less Blue
Monday blues are a staple every start of the week. It’s the reluctance to drag oneself to work after a good day of rest at home on Sunday. Well, well, at least, Monday blues lately haven’t been too bad or bluesy. It’s probably because it’s the end of the year (December) and everyone’s kind of in a holiday mood with Christmas and all.
Things that made my Monday today less blue:
1) Boarded a really empty bus to work today because I was really early for work today. The bus was (as usual) freezing cold that I would imagine myself turning blue without a jacket. But I love empty buses and it was terribly great for sleeping the journey away!
2) We were decorating and adorning the work area with Christmas decorations in the morning (way before work started). Pretty! (:
3) The appreciative “thank-you”s from the caregivers when I do bedside counselling. I’ve learnt: smile and take your time (even though there may be people breathing down your back). If you are sincere, others will definitely appreciate it.
4) My homemade lunch! My experiment with the spiced pumpkin patty was awesome awesome awesome! I know self-praise is just so.. hmmm! But it was great considering that I dreamt out the recipe on my own and this is my first time making it! It was VERY close to my ideal pumpkin burger patty! Plus, the Gardenia mediterranean panini bread is just so lovely, herb-y and yummy!
5) Christmas is near! Have to start racking my brains over Christmas gifts. Plus, this year I’ve two gift exchange at work – one for the year end party we’re organising this Friday and another for the current rotation I’m in. Shopping for X’mas gift is fun! (:
6) Seeing a well clad salaryman in his workwear on the MRT train back home today, with a yellow checkered lunch bag in his hand. And I spied a bento box inside the lunch bag! That made me smile! It was just so cute! I can imagine that the bento must have been homemade with lots of love by his wife/girlfriend/mother that he had the courage to lug the cute lunch bag (that just didn’t fit his image) around. He must be mighty proud of it! Kind of sweet too (:
7) Listening to my emo song (Eason Chan’s Stranger Under my Skin) on repeat on my iphone (:
8) The thought that…it’s the Year End Party this Friday. The one we’ve planned for so long for! It’s a job we have to do, because we’re the newbies at work and they love throwing all the work to the pre-reg to do! Cannot wait to be ‘reindeers’ on Friday and seeing that everything that we’ve planned for go well and smoothly on that day!
9) WICKED WICKED WICKED!!! The musical I’ve been waiting for is finally in town! Have been looking forward to it for months. Cannot wait! This Saturday 10/11/2011! Very excited about it. We’re going in green.
I guess, today was pretty good. No matter how bad the day may be, I seem to be always trying to find something good out of that day to make myself happier, to make the day “not too bad”. Never overlook the simple things in life. They keep me sane. I’m on my way to leading a simple life, just me and my happy thoughts.
Anyway, is it me? But I’ve found that I’m unable to connect with some of my good friends as well as before. Is it because we have different purposes in life now? They are talking “adult”-ish topics that I’ve not thought about or that I cannot be bothered about because I don’t feel as strongly for them. Our lives now are so vastly different, with us working in different sectors. When dusk comes, they go drinking or dine out with their friends while I scurry home each day to drown myself in more readings and work. They get to travel abroad for conferences and courses while I remain here in Singapore, rooted (the constant in their lives?). Well, I like doing what I’m doing now! It’s just that it’s so hard to talk sometimes because they can never understand. They just wonder why I’m working so hard and offer their sympathy. Sighhh ): Sometimes I get so irritated by the flood of messages (where I’m eternally lost), I choose to ignore. Oh wells. My phone is vibrating continously again. Sighhh ignore.
519: Spiced Pumpkin Patty sandwich!
I love the vegetarian burgers at Cedele! Especially my favourite beetroot avocado burger! I never liked beetroot because Daddy used to make raw beetroot juice that tasted like soil (ewwwww!). But the beetroot patty was omg just so heavenly! It’s the wonderful Indian spices that go into the burger. Love indian food (:
So today, on impulse, I decided to make a pumpkin patty with the leftover pumpkin in the fridge. I’ve been on a sandwich craze lately, bringing sandwich for lunch to work everyday. Pumpkin patty just sounds so good (and vegetarian)!
It smells really good now. Made four patties and one will be for my lunch tomorrow. One will be for Mummy’s sandwich tomorrow. And the other two will be frozen and stored for my lunch on Tuesday.
I’ve no proper recipe. But here’s what I did.
I steamed the pumpkin (about 400g) and chickpeas (greater proportion of pumpkin to chickpeas) and mashed them. I toasted a slice of wholemeal bread to get breadcrumbs. After the bread is well-toasted, I chopped and mashed the bread into fine crumbs. Into a bowl, I added in the fine toasted bread crumbs, a bit of chopped fresh onions, 1/2 – 1 tsp of ground cinammon, 1/2 tsp of ground nutmeg, 1/2 tsp of garlic powder, about 1 tbsp of dried parsley, 1/2 tsp of salt and pepper each, 1/2 tsp of manuka honey, 1/2 tsp of peanut butter and 1/2 tsp of canola oil. Mix them really well.
Add the mixture in the bowl to the mashed steamed pumpkin and chickpeas and mix well. Then add about 1/3 cup of plain flour and mix well. Shape into patties. Pan-fry on medium heat, about 3-4 minutes on each side until golden brown.
Serve with bread or burger bun or panini bread or ciabatta. The options are unlimited! You can add in cheese, tomato, cucumber, lettuce, avocado…
Mine was just a simple mediterranean panini sandwich with the spiced pumpkin patty and cheese slices with cucumber! So looking forward to my lunch tomorrow(:
Here’s the pumpkin “mash” before shaping into patties!
Pan-frying the patties until golden brown on each side!
Tah-dah! My lovely VEGETARIAN sandwich! So proud of it (:
518: Thank God It’s Saturday!
So adorable, something keeps me smiling. So glad to know someone listens. (:
So adorable. So grateful for lovely friends at work who make my days and keep me going, no matter how tired and exhausted my heart, soul and body may be. (:
So adorable. I love going to a particular paediatric ward to see the babies in the nursery. So tiny, cute and pink in their little cots. (:
Saturday, I’m almost there to the “official” weekends. 6 hours before I call it a day at work. Crossing my fingers that it wouldn’t be a busy day at work today. (:
Cannot wait, I need rest and some baking therapeutics this weekend! (:
517: Too embarrassing
Oh dear, too embarrassing! To think we were still laughing at my friend who fell asleep on someone on the train to work last week.
I was sooooo tired just now. It’s the very first time in my entire life that I collided into the guy seated beside me! Usually, I am a light sleeper! Ever since I started work, I’ve been sleeping on buses! I don’t usually sleep on buses when I was still in uni! But lately, once I rest my eyes on the bus, I get into quite a “deep” sleep and I often lose track of where I am! I had quite a lovely sleep just now until I got jolted awake when I collided into the guy! Omg so embarrassing just now! I hope not to see that guy ever again! (:
I need to sleep early tonight!!!!!! So glad I can finally do so, since there aren’t anything important on or due tomorrow. Shall rest my brain tonight! Not TGIF tomorrow cause’ there’s work on Saturday! (:
516: Act because you need to act.
Awwww I’m still awake from the cup of green tea I took to tide me through the night while I do my work! Done with work so I thought I’ll blog something PROPER now!
Right at this moment, I’m liking what I’m doing. I do what I think is right, I do what needs to be done, I am not going to bother about how others may perceive me to be as long as I can answer up to my own principles, belief and conscience. Armed with a positive attitude, nothing can get me down down down. (: Every day is a learning process, on its own.
Quoting one of my favourite writers, Paulo Coelho:
“Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Act because you need to act.”.
This quote speaks volume to me.
Life’s pretty much the same. I’m amazed at how time flies. It’s officially December already. Yes, it’s past midnight on the first day of the last month of 2011. I’m nearing the last part of pre-reg, 15 weeks more to go (that’s crazily fast)! Anyway, Christmas is almost here! I love Christmas, not from a religious standpoint. It’s the time of the year with presents (you see people doing their joyous Christmas shopping), indulgent food and goodies and of course, quality time with loved ones and friends! Love the pretty lights as one stroll along Orchard Road, the gorgeous decor at certain malls, the interesting Christmas-themed food at the different food retailers, the blinking (inside joke: seizure-inducing) lights of the Christmas trees in the wards… What’s not to love about Christmas? (:
Anyway, something so random, I was speaking to two seniors at work (who
are also from the same JC and secondary school as I am) and they mentioned that I don’t have the NY face! I’m so sad hahaha! They told me I have the SCGS face and I was terribly surprised and shocked because I totally didn’t expect that! I thought that I have the NY face all along! I don’t want to have the SCGS face! ): Hahaha this is so random and nonsensical (all the stereotyping)!
Time for bed and my throat hurts!
Spread of all the infectious bugs in the paediatric wards! Plus, a pretty lengthy upclose personal contact while doing med recon and bedside discharge counselling with the parents of a tuberculous meningitis infected infant just last week! Yays to using this TB meningitis for my case ppt! So glad to be able to see through the entire stay of the patient and getting involved at every stage of care! (: And just today, another VZV infected infant that I did counselling for! Haha I really need to stay strong and not fall ill!
Oh yays, it’s late and I got to be awake in a few hours. Gosh! Anyway, it will be better in the morning! Thursday is going to be way better than my Wednesday! (:
Tata!
