280: I Still Feel Like a Kid
You know, not too long ago, I chanced upon the blog of a secondary school friend and it’s been many years since we’ve last met. 4 years? And I’m amazed at how ‘grown-up’ my friend has become. She has blossomed into a real woman, at least I think she looks her age, at 22 years old. Having recently graduated and currently working, her blog posts speak of her work life and many topics I deem ‘adult-ish’ like make-up and cosmetics and marriage and kids. Gone were the child-like innocence we used to have. Gone were the days when conversational topics on the bus home from school were about the upcoming tests and exams or gossips about teachers or the latest TV serial. Well, seeing these friends whom I’ve lost touch over recent years (because we were all too busy with our lives) mature and blossom into the 22 year old ladies they are now bring back many memories.
And I cannot help but look back at the years that have passed me by.
I’m getting older with days.
But honestly, I still feel like a kid. I still feel young at heart and I really cannot believe I’ll be 23 next year and in exactly 4 months’ time. What have I been doing to my life all these while? Why has time passed me by so quickly?
And looking at these friends, I feel so unaccomplished. I still feel so immature.
And I’ve received news that in January next year, I’ll have to start applying for the ‘job’ I want and sit through interviews then. That means I’ll have to spend my holidays working on revising my CV, coming with a cover letter and taking some decent photographs (since I’ve lost the rest). I’m feeling the stress! I think I suck at interviews but I really want the ‘job’ I like. I really want to work in a H of my choice. But well, the good news is that I’m guaranteed a job since my profession is greatly in demand. Should I be glad? But still, the handful of us will be fighting for the more ‘prestigious’ job. And I really want to get the ‘job’ I want, not because of the prestige but because I really think this is where I want to go and I forsee myself working in. Well, I’ll have to convince the interviewers then.
Shall not think about these first. Will need to conquer the upcoming exams next week first and then, finish up my final year project during the holidays!
Somehow I have a nagging feeling that it’s better to be schooling than fighting out in the working world, as many would have said as well. And I cannot believe the semester is ending and I’m graduating soon! One more semester and my university life is over! About 5-6 months to graduation. Time seriously flies!
And I still feel like a kid. Because I don’t want to grow up! 😦