579: i need to feel better
I was all positive and bright this morning. I had wanted to go running before heading for the lecture but I gave up. I was too tired and I gave into peer pressure because the bulk (or the entire) of my clique isn’t going as well, I’ll be all alone.
So I decided to stay in but I’m feeling so down now. Something tells me I should have gone, I don’t know why but I am feeling so guilty.
I hate myself for feeling this way now. I don’t know why I’m so down now. I need to run, I should have gone just now. ARGH evening run then!
I really don’t like feeling this way now. I know I’ve been through this mixed feelings state many many times the past many many months. I break a little, it heals a little and I get a bit stronger. But soon enough, the cycle repeats. And it’s like a rollercoaster ride of emotions all over again. I really don’t like feeling this way. It doesn’t help that I’m all home alone the entire day today as well.
I need to feel better.