Ran an unintended 7.5km instead of the planned 5km this morning, concluding 6 run days this week whee!:)
Missing you right here :)
So I cooked a dinner for my silly boy yesterday, just apologetic that I added too much fermented soya bean paste that my chap Chye was salty!
Thank you whoever you are for making my days and nights purposeful, for being my comfort and shelter in this crazy world, for doing the silly things with me, for finishing every little of the food I prepared, for laughing with me, for listening, for asking how my day went and sharing with me how your day went.
Never enough “thank yous”!:))
Woke up disappointed that I had no motivation for the weekend, decided to take on the world early with a 10km run!
Some good news but I don’t know, why are you affecting my every emotion? Sigh, I feel crippled.
There are some issues which i’m still avoiding until now. Family and a close friend have brought it to my attention and I’ve chosen to ignore it. It isn’t that I am not aware of it, I just don’t have the courage to face it. I’m afraid that everything will change from then on, and I’ll lose everything I have at the moment, I’ll lose you and everyone else.
It’s so foolish of me, I know. Because I’m willing to give everything a chance and just trust. After all, ignorance is bliss. I’m such a silly foolish girl, blinded by everything.
But because I’m afraid everything will change, I’m afraid I’ll lose everything.
I’m willing to lay my trust that you’ll give me that very bit of respect, that you have that little bit of self-respect.
backdating entries, but spent the entire day all by myself. Me-time?
Woke up late but struggled for a short 7.5km around the hood, came home to a cup of matcha latte :)
You know, I can’t help feeling disappointed. T’was looking forward to the weekends but it’s going to be another lonely lonely weekend.
Found this from a site: link -> here
44 Reasons WHY I love you:
It’s been a lovely first days of the first week of 2016, spending with the boy and now, the mum. Although I may complain at times, but it’s been a while since I’ve spent so much time with her.
And as for the boy, I thank him for being by me through these years. Knowing how stubborn I may be, I may not be the easiest person to love.
This was what I felt the past many months. “When you realize that the lust you once felt during the early stages of dating isn’t quite there anymore, and even though something more remarkable and lasting has taken its place, you ache to resurrect the blind, obsessive passion that first drew you to each other. Knowing that you can’t definitely sucks.”
I don’t know. I saw the best and worst in you and I’m willing to stay. I’m willing to trust in you wholeheartedly because I want to (no matter what others may say). Because I don’t want to regret!
Anyway, may 2016 be a good year!!:)) Feeling re-energized because of our new renewal of faith and love!:)) Somehow, “Love” is never enough to describe how I feel for you. It’s a very complex feeling I don’t know how to describe. I lurve you so much, it scares me. And truth be told, I’m eggcited that we’ll be spending our Lives together in a few years!:)))
I feel happy again.
The initial tension before the breaking of the ice, appreciating every word, touch and smile we share.
It’s the people around you who matter.
Thank you for making me happy and blessed again.
So they say, “Trust is a decision. Trust is the waking, conscious choice to invest in another human being because you know that even if they betray you, you’ll be okay.”
We are an extremely infidelious nation.
We work hard to build up lives that we’re proud of: jobs we’re happy with, homes we cherish, friends and families who surround us with love. The possibility of inviting another person in to share in all of that, without the guarantee that it’s going to work out, can be paralyzing. How do we know they won’t turn on us? How do we know it’ll work out?
And the truth is, we don’t. Whether or not we can trust someone will always be a tough bet to wager. But it’s also a futile guessing game. And it’s one that can destroy your entire relationship before it even begins.
Just two days back, I felt like such a big fool, it’s the point when you realized that your entire life has been a huge mistake from the start, when you’ve misplaced your trust in someone you trust so much.
And you start doubting anyone and EVERYYONE, you start thinking if it’s because you suck at judging someone, to allow someone that close to you, to end up hurting your heart.
Just like I asked “Can I trust you?” anymore…
I have so many burning questions, so many wandering thoughts. All the talk and promises, are they for real? If they were, why do I feel like I do not know you at all? Why do I find that there’s so many sides of you I wished I had knew earlier before I made the decisions I had to in life. I had to run away, to walk away from everything because I don’t think my heart deserves to be broken like that.
So many burning questions, like why you do the things you do (and if I really wish to know what exactly they are), why do people lie (and how I’ve been treated like a stupid fool all along), why do you make me feel as if you’re such a stranger (and I barely know you now)… Perhaps everything has lost its novelty with time, perhaps you want excitement, perhaps I’m not doing well enough…?
I may not be perfect (who is?), but were all the dreams we’ve painted all lies from the past? Were all the words you’ve said all just words (and lies)?
So many questions I’ve been dying to ask…
But because I care too much just to walk away, I wanted to know the reasons why you’re doing so. That this was probably a mistake you made in your course of life and that you were willing to change, and that if you cared, you wouldn’t want to break my heart again. Because I care too much, I believe in the innate goodness of human relationships, I am willing to give people chances to change, only if they are truly sincere and genuine to.
If I gave you one, will you?
And if you were in my shoes, what will you do?
I love the way you try your best to make me happy.
I love the way you try to spend as much time with me before my night shift tonight.
I love the way you plant a random kiss on my cheeks when I get you the “sad” look :)
I appreciate you.