really random posts about food, eating well and healthy, my life, chocolates and dramas!

Latest

657: 10th January

Ran an unintended 7.5km instead of the planned 5km this morning, concluding 6 run days this week whee!:)

  
Need: to be happy today. Am I ready to take on Monday?

Missing you right here :)

656: 9th January

So I cooked a dinner for my silly boy yesterday, just apologetic that I added too much fermented soya bean paste that my chap Chye was salty!

  
Thank you whoever you are for making my days and nights purposeful, for being my comfort and shelter in this crazy world, for doing the silly things with me, for finishing every little of the food I prepared, for laughing with me, for listening, for asking how my day went and sharing with me how your day went.

Never enough “thank yous”!:))

656: 8th January

Woke up disappointed that I had no motivation for the weekend, decided to take on the world early with a 10km run!

Some good news but I don’t know, why are you affecting my every emotion? Sigh, I feel crippled.

There are some issues which i’m still avoiding until now. Family and a close friend have brought it to my attention and I’ve chosen to ignore it. It isn’t that I am not aware of it, I just don’t have the courage to face it. I’m afraid that everything will change from then on, and I’ll lose everything I have at the moment, I’ll lose you and everyone else.

It’s so foolish of me, I know. Because I’m willing to give everything a chance and just trust. After all, ignorance is bliss. I’m such a silly foolish girl, blinded by everything.

But because I’m afraid everything will change, I’m afraid I’ll lose everything.

I’m willing to lay my trust that you’ll give me that very bit of respect, that you have that little bit of self-respect.

I pray.

Goodnight.

 

 

655: 7th January 

backdating entries, but spent the entire day all by myself. Me-time?

Woke up late but struggled for a short 7.5km around the hood, came home to a cup of matcha latte :)

   
  Headed out, dressed up, deviating from the usual shorts & tee and with my new pair of shoes!

  
  Came home to make a poached salmon with dill sauce for dinner!  
 Ended off with a random chocolate chips cookies bake :)  

654: Disappointed

You know, I can’t help feeling disappointed. T’was looking forward to the weekends but it’s going to be another lonely lonely weekend.

653: 44 Reasons Why I Love You

Found this from a site: link -> here

Hello Friend,

44 Reasons WHY I love you:

  1. You found me. You actually did. I still don’t know how exactly it happened that we were right where we were meant to be at that exact time in our lives. But, I will be grateful for it forever.
  2. You loved me instantly. Before you even knew me. You already knew.
  3. You never faltered and you had faith in us. Even when I stumbled slightly in the very beginning. You never swayed.
  4. You accept me. My light and my shadow. Even though we are different, you never try to change me. I am me when I am with you.
  5. You show me you. You opened yourself up, cracked your heart wide open and you allowed me in.
  6. I love your voice. It somehow resonates deeply in my soul.
  7. Because you know me even when I struggle to know myself.
  8. How your fantasies blend with mine.
  9. Because when we fight it is never traumatic because we both know it will never be the end.
  10. And how you are never stubborn in making up. Well, at least not for too long…
  11. When my phone rings, I always hope it is your name that appears on the screen. Even if you just called me two minutes before.
  12. I love how you tell me that this is like nothing you have experienced before.
  13. And I believe you. I believe it all.
  14. I trust you with my life and my heart. I know I am safe in your arms.
  15. And you would protect me with your life.
  16. How every day you teach me something new.
  17. And you allow me to teach you things that I know you have little interest in.
  18. I love the way you sing to me, especially when it is our song that plays.
  19. And how you tell me stories about your childhood and I imagine how you were back then.
  20. How still your kiss does crazy things to my insides.
  21. And when you touch me, I forget the rest of the world exists.
  22. I love how we are a team, the perfect balance.
  23. And how I feel like I’ve known you the whole of my life.
  24. I love your feminine and masculine too.
  25. I love how you are present with me, and you absorb me completely.
  26. How I miss you the second you leave. And even before sometimes.
  27. How you call me out when I try to push the boundaries.
  28. And how you tell me without any doubt that I am the only one in the world for you.
  29. I love how you get mad with me when I question your love. Because it frustrates you that I would ever question how devoted you are.
  30. And how you forgive me so quickly for everything else that I say and do that hurts you. And you never mention it again.
  31. I love how you allow me to put my cold hands and feet on your warm body.
  32. And how you run my bath adding candles and extra bubbles.
  33. I love the way you look at me when you haven’t seen me for a few hours.
  34. And also how you look at me when we have made extra special love.
  35. I hate it when we fight but love that our making up makes everything better.
  36. I love how we imagine a wild and wonderful future together. And then make the plans to make it happen.
  37. How when I act a little crazy you smile and soothe my aches.
  38. And I love the way I catch you watching me as though you are in awe at what you see.
  39. I love how quickly I turn you on and how easily you pleasure me.
  40. And how you always make me tea before I wake each day.
  41. I love how I often fail to understand you. You puzzle my mind. And that’s good.
  42. And how I often know your thoughts when no words have been spoken.
  43. I love how when I ask you how much you love me you tease me and give the most ridiculous replies.
  44. And did I tell you… I love you because I love you. I love you.

 

 

<3,

Rina

652: 2016:)

Hello 2016!:))

It’s been a lovely first days of the first week of 2016, spending with the boy and now, the mum. Although I may complain at times, but it’s been a while since I’ve spent so much time with her.

And as for the boy, I thank him for being by me through these years. Knowing how stubborn I may be, I may not be the easiest person to love.

This was what I felt the past many months. “When you realize that the lust you once felt during the early stages of dating isn’t quite there anymore, and even though something more remarkable and lasting has taken its place, you ache to resurrect the blind, obsessive passion that first drew you to each other. Knowing that you can’t definitely sucks.”

I don’t know. I saw the best and worst in you and I’m willing to stay. I’m willing to trust in you wholeheartedly because I want to (no matter what others may say). Because I don’t want to regret!

Anyway, may 2016 be a good year!!:)) Feeling re-energized because of our new renewal of faith and love!:)) Somehow, “Love” is never enough to describe how I feel for you. It’s a very complex feeling I don’t know how to describe. I lurve you so much, it scares me. And truth be told, I’m eggcited that we’ll be spending our Lives together in a few years!:)))

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

651: Human

I feel happy again.

The initial tension before the breaking of the ice, appreciating every word, touch and smile we share.

It’s the people around you who matter.

Thank you for making me happy and blessed again.

650: Trust

So they say, “Trust is a decision. Trust is the waking, conscious choice to invest in another human being because you know that even if they betray you, you’ll be okay.”

We are an extremely infidelious nation.

We work hard to build up lives that we’re proud of: jobs we’re happy with, homes we cherish, friends and families who surround us with love. The possibility of inviting another person in to share in all of that, without the guarantee that it’s going to work out, can be paralyzing. How do we know they won’t turn on us? How do we know it’ll work out?

And the truth is, we don’t. Whether or not we can trust someone will always be a tough bet to wager. But it’s also a futile guessing game. And it’s one that can destroy your entire relationship before it even begins.

Just two days back, I felt like such a big fool, it’s the point when you realized that your entire life has been a huge mistake from the start, when you’ve misplaced your trust in someone you trust so much.

And you start doubting anyone and EVERYYONE, you start thinking if it’s because you suck at judging someone, to allow someone that close to you, to end up hurting your heart.

Just like I asked “Can I trust you?” anymore…

I have so many burning questions, so many wandering thoughts. All the talk and promises, are they for real? If they were, why do I feel like I do not know you at all? Why do I find that there’s so many sides of you I wished I had knew earlier before I made the decisions I had to in life. I had to run away, to walk away from everything because I don’t think my heart deserves to be broken like that.

So many burning questions, like why you do the things you do (and if I really wish to know what exactly they are), why do people lie (and how I’ve been treated like a stupid fool all along), why do you make me feel as if you’re such a stranger (and I barely know you now)… Perhaps everything has lost its novelty with time, perhaps you want excitement, perhaps I’m not doing well enough…?

I may not be perfect (who is?), but were all the dreams we’ve painted all lies from the past? Were all the words you’ve said all just words (and lies)?

So many questions I’ve been dying to ask…

But because I care too much just to walk away, I wanted to know the reasons why you’re doing so. That this was probably a mistake you made in your course of life and that you were willing to change, and that if you cared, you wouldn’t want to break my heart again. Because I care too much, I believe in the innate goodness of human relationships, I am willing to give people chances to change, only if they are truly sincere and genuine to.

If I gave you one, will you?

And if you were in my shoes, what will you do?

 

 

649: I.

I love the way you try your best to make me happy.

I love the way you try to spend as much time with me before my night shift tonight.

I love the way you plant a random kiss on my cheeks when I get you the “sad” look :)

I appreciate you.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 33 other followers

%d bloggers like this: